Dieting

So I started my weight watchers journey almost 2 years ago. WOW two years. It's been a long time. I thought for sure that at a year and a half and I would be at goal. I also thought a year and a half was giving my self a few screw up weeks. Realistically you can lose 1-2 pounds a week and remain healthy. So I should have been able to lose the weight with in a year being I only needed to lose 60 (ish) pounds. But I didn't want the pressure. Here it is almost 2 years later and I am 20 pounds away from my goal. ::SIGH:: I have been 20 pounds away from my goal for a whole year. Last year November was the last time I had a significant weight lose.

When I made the decision to join Weight Watchers I decided it was a life long decision. No opting out for any reason. Over this last year I have thought several time about quiting. I am happy where I am at, I just can't justify spending the money when I apparently am not taking it seriously, this is the weight I have always gotten stuck on so maybe it's the weight I am supposed to be. ALL LIES!!!!

I am NOT happy with where I am at. I have never been content at this weight I have always dieted, trying to lose a few more pounds. This is the weight I was when I got married and I was always trying to lose then. This is the weight I spent most of my teenage years being and I was always trying to lose then too. I am not happy here. I want the best I want the -20lbs. I will achieve this.

I can't justify spending the money when I am apparently not taking it seriously. Well I am taking it seriously I just can't figure out what needs to change. If my exercise needs to increase or if my diet needs adjusting or both. If I wasn't taking this seriously than I wouldn't be going to my weekly meetings, I wouldn't be calculation my points, I wouldn't have reached out and asked for help.

This is the weight I am always stuck at so maybe it's the weight I am supposed to be. Yeah I don't think so. I have been smaller I just forget. And I just need to look back at my "before" picture and see how far I have come and know that I can do this. If I have made it this far I can go the distance.

Last week I reached out for help on a blog site that I know fellow weight watchers post and someone answered my cry. I am meeting her this Thursday. She is a life timer (means she is at goal and has kept at goal for a while now) She wants to take on my case, so to speak, and see what needs to adjust and how to help me get to goal. I am so excited I can't wait to slip into my new body. I can't wait to look at myself and say I DID IT!! I can't wait to post how much I weigh (only me, my doctor, and the weight watchers instructor know) Some have a guess and they are close but I won't reveal the numbers of where I have been or what I am until I get to post the "after" picture.

Wish me luck, say a prayer, cross your fingers. I need it all. I just think that for someone who went on her first diet at age 10 she should be able to reach her goal by the time she is 35.