complaining again

So I have decided to keep a very close eye on my weight. So close in fact I weigh myself every day to see if my different choices of food and exercise makes a difference in my weight. Well i have just made myself aware that nothing is making any since at all. I start off the week losing weight and every Monday I not only gain but I gain all or more back. I have been extra good over this last weekend to make sure this doesn't happen this week and it did AND it's a gain more week. I can't seem to lose any weight between Monday and Wednesday. Wednesday's I weigh in. I have been charting this weight loss/gain and I feel so confused. If you have any advice other than starving myself send it my way. If not I fear I may resort to starving!

Neti Pot

Our allergies are horrid right now. The news said this morning to expect it to be a very bad allergy year. Both kids are miserable right now and I know for me, meds. just take the edge off of the misery, I still have a yucky nose and itch eyes, throat and ears it's just not as bad as if I am not on the meds. Last night in the middle of my sleep I woke up sneezing like crazy. I had to rip of my mask in a hurry, because I don't like to sneeze in it, and frantically search for tissue. So I decided to give this Neti Pot thing a try. I figured it can't hurt much to run saline through my nasal cavity. Well I just did the Neti Pot for the first time and I can't decided what to think. I was under the impression that very gross nasty stuff would come out the first time I used it and nothing did. It was just clear water, or saline. And now I think I have more pressure in my ears then I did before I did the treatment. I plan to give this a try for a month or so to see if I improve. I am hoping to be able to talk the kids into this also. I sorta see them freaking out on me. I will let you all know what my opinion of this is as time goes on.

still working at it

Weight has been an issue for me my whole life. Started to "diet" when I was in 3rd grade. But of course what does a 3rd grader know; so my diet was skipping breakfast. Right now I have been in Weight Watchers for 2 1/2 years. I needed to lose roughly 55-60 lbs to hit goal when I started. Most of the people I see who put their whole heart into it can lose 50-60 lbs in about 5 months. Sadly i am still not at goal. But I am still working hard at it. This last month I have been watching what I eat and trying to get in as much exercise as my schedule will let and my weight keeps creeping up. 3 weeks ago I went into my meeting and the scale said I had gained 4.2 lbs. ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDDING ME!!!!!!! I bawled all the way home. I couldn't think of anything I did to deserve that kind of weight gain. I decided not to change anything and see what happened the next week, and I was down 4.6. Huge sigh of relief as well as major confusion. Then last week I go in and I am up 3.6. Again can't really see where I went wrong. I did share a dessert with a friend though. So through all of this I realized that in the beginning things seemed easier than they are now. I have to fight to lose any weight at all and I gain on weeks I think I should have lost. I have decided to go back to the beginning and do all the strict things I did then. Not use my bonus points not allow myself to eat a dessert and to weight myself everyday. Wednesday is my weigh in days and I am looking forward to what their scales my say. Mine tells me it's been a good week. I like to share a quote from a writer friend of mine...

In my internal dialog, I say to myself, "I want to lose a pound. That's all, just a pound." When I lost that pound, I'd start the saying over, "I think I'll try to lose a pound." When I lost that pound, I was two pounds lighter. I have a big goal: lose 65 pounds minimum. But that goal is too big for my confidence, so I focus on one pound at a time. -Al Gansky.

That's what I am doing just one pound at a time. Baby steps. That's what I did in the beginning. First I started to evaluate what I ate, Incorporated healthier choices, left out unhealthy choice. Once I got the eating under control I then started to add movement, go for a walk around the neighborhood, start walking on a track to measure my distance, added in a jog from this light pole to that light pole, jog most of the time. Maybe add in some weights from time to time. Baby steps all the way.

Another thing I did in the beginning was I had friends who were starting weight watchers too. I loved motivating them. Although I don't have that now I have found blogs of local fellow W.W. goers that I am reading. I leave comments from time to time but their stories are inspiring me and my comments make me feel useful.

Matthew

God has answered prayers. It has been a long time waiting to hear those beautiful words from my friend "Matthew is ours". I have spent countless hours praying for over a year. Always wondering "WHY GOD WHY MUST THEY GO THROUGH THIS" I know in all things God has a reason and purpose. I know that sometimes the reason and purpose are not necessarily for those God is using. And this time I think this could be one of those times. Well sort of. Through all of this a whole body of believers has been praying and even when the situation seem bleak we saw God answering prayers. When it seemed the world was gonna fall apart we felt peace. And now that it is all done I see a relationship between 4 parents where 2 are not believers. I see this little boy growing up in a wonderful Christian home who may someday maybe the key instrument in his biological parents accepting what Christ has done on the cross for us.

Allergies vs. Sleep Apnea

It really seems unfair to have both Sleep Apnea and Allergies. It's a horrid thing to deal with. The allergies are making my sinuses have so much pressure and then at night when I lay down and the pressure is at is worse I then have to put a face mask on that hits just about every sinus pressure. If I sleep with out the mask I wake up with a terrible head ache from not breathing well (or at all) But I just can't handle the pressure of the mask. sigh.

Matthew

Please pray for the sweetest little boy named Matthew.