Weight Loss Is An Emotional Roller Coaster

Well the title of this blog pretty much says it all. It's been awhile since I blogged. I haven't forgotten about it but when you do daycare in your home, well that really leaves time for pretty much nothing else. Even exercise and eating right. I often wondered how I gained so much weight running around caring for kids. Well here it is, you don't have time to make a well balanced meal that is filling and fills all of your health needs when you only get a split second to do it. And you think "Oh I will get that healthy meal in during nap time so let me grab a hand full of this to hold me over" HAHA yeah well that hand full of, what ever, is never healthy.
Well this weekend I was given an insight of why I started to go on this weight loss journey to begin with. I keep feeling dizzy. Mostly when I get up out of bed. I can't walk in a straight line and it takes me a minute to gain my grounds. I kept thinking that it was my inner ear again, but then I realized it was different. When it was my inner ear I would fall on the ground before I even realized that I was dizzy. This time it's pretty much I am feeling dizzy as I am getting up. Took me a few weeks to remember that high blood pressure can make you dizzy and that I used to get dizzy when I would stand up from sitting last time I was having blood pressure issues. So I got my B.P. cuff to check things out. My B.P. was high, very high! I was medicated when my B.P. was 130's over 100. This weekend my highest reading was 156/104. Yeah, I was a bit freaked out. I wanted to cry so bad but I kept telling myself "you did this to your self. You knew this was gonna happen."
So I am freaked out enough to start caring. I reread my Letter to Myself. And I am so glad I did. I almost think I should print it, frame it and hang it on the fridge. Today I am going to get back on that tread mill and start walking and work myself up to running again. I should make myself a count down to the D.C. Marine Corp marathon I plan to run in October 2012.
I know i can do this. I am stronger then I give myself credit for. I love the high I get from running. And I want to be back in my skinny clothes this summer.