Letter to myself

I can't find my CD of old picture and my heart is more into my weight today any way.

Dear Self,
Today is a new beginning. You have decided to take this into your own hands and you will succeed. You can do it. You have all the tools, you have all the knowledge. I want to remind you how far you have come......
You are 22 lbs. less then you were 3 years ago, however you are only down 20 lbs. from 2 years ago. Remember how happy the weight loss made you feel, how good your body felt, how much energy you had. Your knees, hips, and ankles didn't hurt. You felt like getting up and doing stuff. You were able to breath easier while doing activities. YOU WERE RUNNING!! Today you long to have all that back. Today your hips, knees and ankles hurt. You are sad every time you look at your self naked in the mirror. You don't want the stress of worrying about if the high blood pressure will come back, you hate that your mind wants to get stuff done but you don't have the energy. You remember being less cranky and irritable when you were lighter. Lets work hard to get that back.
Today you are doing great. I am very proud of you. You have been tracking and measuring your food intake. I know you can keep it up. It's not as hard as it seems. When you track you realize it's pretty easy and you actually get full on smaller amounts of food. Try to remember this and hold on to it. You know your Levi's? I want to remind you of the day you put them on straight from the dryer and they slipped down your hips. If it weren't for your butt they would have fell to the floor. Remember that smile that came over your face, remember the feeling of being on top of the world and thinking you will never let them get tight again. Now I know they are not tight, yet! But they fit and they fit good. They don't slip down and you get very nervous to put them on. It's time to make those babies slip off again. And this time lets aim for them to make it all the way to the ground.
You have a reasonable goal in mind. You can achieve it. And don't let people telling you negative thing get to you. They are just jealous. There is no one stopping you but yourself. Don't wait for someone else to give you a push, you need to push yourself.
Now go out there and get it done. I know you can do it.

Frozen Yogurt

Have you heard of Yogurt Land? It's in Jordan Landing. I love it and it's so reasonably priced. .30 cents an ounce. You get a cup, put in desired amount of yogurt of your flavor of choice, then you get to add toppings. Well the first 12 days of December you get 2 oz free. So Jer and I have taken a little advantage of this and been sneaking in a date here and there. We just get the featured flavor and share. I have to tell you the nutterbutter is sooooooo good. We put Reece's pieces on top and it was a perfect choice.

SNOW!!

I know it's Wednesday and I normally blog an old picture but today I just had to blog about our snow. I love the snow. Not as much as Jer-Bear but more then the average joe. And I have always wanted a real good snow storm. The kind that shuts down a city. Well I didn't get a shut down city but I did get a lot of snow.

Here is Jessica and Gloria standing in front of the pile of snow the plows pushed up to the neighbors yard. Now just so you know this is the day after the storm and from the sun shinning all day the snow has packed down. I don't think I am exaggerating much when I say I think the pile is shorter then the night before.

Here is a lovely picture of my car being stuck on in the street. I was trying to get Jess off to school while Jeremy was taking my sister to the airport.

And here is my shed. As you can tell the snow on the roof is touching the snow on the ground. I think the two storms left behind about 2 feet of snow. But had all the snow dumped all at once I am sure it would have been 3 feet of snow all together. There were a few days in between and the snow compacted. I love it. I also hope that every weekend it snows lots more, but only on the weekend please.

Family date

We didn't have a date night due to the fact it was a holiday weekend and my sister Cynthia came to visit. But we did have fun. I saved up my spending money from 2 pay periods to buy myself a game. This game is called Telestrations. It's sorta like pictionary meets telephone. Oh what a hoot it is. And it's even better if you have someone who can't draw well. I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard.
On Friday I did my annual Black Friday shopping with the sisters. Jessica joined us this year. Although it was hard because I was mainly shopping for her. I think I have her convinced that the sweater Cynthia allegedly bought wasn't for her. And she knows that she is getting boots and she saw Missy buy 2 pairs but I think I might have convinced her they are Cynthia's as well. Oh well. Lets hope she forgets, or at the least ends up loving them when she gets them.
On Sunday in the freezing cold snow storm we went out for frozen yogurt at YogurtLand. I like that place. It's cheaper then Basken Robins and you get to have fun tasting different flavors before making your choice and all the topping choices make your selection seem endless.
We had a great visit with Cynthia and Missy n Jory too. It's funny how we only live a couple of miles away yet never see each other.

Fun day

It's been a week since I blogged. I have been so busy with lots of kids that don't want to nap at the same time, quilting with a dead line, and crocheting a very late baby blanket, hopefully I can stay on task for now on.
I couldn't find any Thanksgiving pictures which is very sad to me. I did have some but I fear I lost them. I wish I could find the pictures of my first Thanksgiving with a digital camera. In awe over the technology to be able to delete what ever picture I didn't like, I let the kids take what ever pictures they wanted. I ended up loving them so much I didn't delete any of them. There were pictures of people from the knees up. Thanksgiving from a 3 year old's point of view. They were priceless. Maybe I will give the camera to my nieces tomorrow.
Well here are some old pictures I found that I really like.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Some first

I am sad that most of Brian's "1st's" are all on 35 mm. where as almost all of Jess' are digital. Sometimes I drag my feet when it comes to advancing with technology. Mostly because I hate change but some because it frustrates me to have to learn new things and change up what I already have. I am still refusing to advance to Blue Ray.

Today is just some random picture I wanted to share. Here is Jess with her first missing tooth. Sad to say I don't really remember the day. I can't remember if we pulled it or what. :( I will have to ask Jessi if she remembers.

Here she is on her first day of kindergarten. I can't believe how little she looks. I was so excited for her. She loved being able to go to school with Bri.

Here is Brian on his first baseball team. He was on this team for 2 years. I miss baseball days. I just wish he had coaches that took the time that was needed to teach him so he could have loved it. I really believe he would have stuck with it but he realized that coaches were full of empty promises. One of his favorite days in baseball was the time his uncle Phil came to see one of his practices and went out on the field to teach him some pointers.

Here he is scoring a point for the team. This isn't his home run, but he did get one of those :) that was exciting. But nothing compared to the excitement of him catching that fly ball in outfield and getting the guy out, and the teams 3rd out. The whole team ran out to him and picked him up and carried him in. I was in tears.

date night

We had a very busy weekend that included 2 birthday parties, girl scout meeting, and Thanksgiving church dinner but we managed to get out just the two of us. It was great! As much as I love children I do need my breaks now and again. Plus dating grows your marriage stronger. We chose to go to a dollar movie. We saw The Switch. It was pretty cute. But word to the wise dollar movies don't mean dollar menus. I was a bit hungry so Jer said he'd splurge and get me a pop corn. I normally get a small which I feel is plenty for two people to share, but because I was hungry when Jer mention "lets get a medium and share" I agreed with out thinking. Then we get to the counter and were about the order and the girl tells us save 50 cents by buy a large. So we did. One large pop corn and one large drink $11.50. Yes you read that correctly $11.50! We didn't stop the think it wasn't 50 cents cheaper then the medium but 50 cents cheaper then it original price. Oh well live and learn right.
We walked the mall afterwards looking for christmas ideas. I love window shopping. I know it's not Jer favorite. So thanks honey for doing that with me.

I also want to take this time to mention my friends son Ryan who has run away. He is 18. Please pray for his safe return. Here is a link to his missing persons ad. Please keep your eye out for him. Thanks.
www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=218&ad=13277050&cat=10&s_cid=S0001
Hope this link works. If not and you are on twitter or facebook I have it posted there too.

a lose is a lose; right?

Other than yesterday I felt this week was fantastic as far as my eating goes. I keep track of the food I ate and stayed on track. Exercise was less then what I wanted but I did get some in. I noticed that I could not reach my toes this week when stretching. YIKES!! Not great. I am pretty flexible, not quite Gumby, but I can still do the splits if I keep stretching. So on the days I couldn't exercise I sat on the floor with the 4 month old I watch and stretch while I played with her. I can reach my toes again ::sigh of relief::
So confession time, yesterday I felt frustrated and I didn't get my normal nap time break. Today I wont either but I know about it in advance. I don't like surprises like that. Plus the older girls I was watching were driving me up the wall. So to take out my frustration I ate Oreo's and milk for my lunch. They were reduced fat and I only ate 5. I guess that rationalization doesn't help any does it? And I made pizza for dinner. Although he pizza wasn't bad how much I ate probably wasn't ideal. I LOVE pizza. It's not a diet friendly food for my. I know better but when planning the menu this weekend I didn't plan on having a bad day. Any way today is better. I am starting off with my healthy oat meal breakfast and I have a plan. I have already started to exercise today.
I have an exercise ball. I have done some squats and used the ball to get my arms involved. I used the ball to do some inclined push ups, and some crunches. But then the kids decided that the movie I put on wasn't interesting anymore so I moved onto dishes while they played. I am getting ready to walk up and down the stairs for about 15 minutes. Hopefully the baby will sleep while I do this.
Ok recipe today is pizza. Homemade pizza is great in the fact you control what goes in it and on it. last night I made the crust it's real simple:
1 pk yeast
1 cup warm water (105)
1/2 tsp salt
2 1/2 to 3 1/2 cups of flour
Mix yeast water and salt for 1 minute. Add 1/2 cup of flour at a time until dough pulls away from wall of bowl and forms a ball. cover let stand 1 hour. punch down cut dough in half to make 2 medium (ish) size pizzas or keep together to make 1 larger. (I used my kitchen aide)
Top how ever you want.
When I don't have time for this I used whole wheat pita bread as the crust. It's very tasty and so low in calories/points.
OH and last but not least I lost .2, not much. I actually weight earlier in the week when I was doing great and I was down .4, so I guess yesterday weighed it's toll on the scale this morning.

Opposites

When it comes to being in the water my kids are as opposite as they come. The first time I ever took Bri into a pool he was about 1 year old, give or take a month. He freaked out like no other! He clawed my neck until it stung and bleed. He tried to crawl on to the top of my head. I laughed but not because I thought it was funny but because I couldn't believe what was happening and I didn't know how to react.
Jeremy's parents have a pool. Bri would have nothing to do with that pool. I had to talk to him and bribe him just to put his feet in the water. The only way he would touch the water was if everyone in the pool went to the other side. It took years to get him to even sit on the steps in the pool.
When we first moved to Utah we lived in an apartment. He wanted to hang out at the pool. Surprisingly he would get in but never let go of the side and never venture far from the steps. So I put the kids in swim lessons. Bri is 9 in these pictures. He does swim now but he'd prefer to not.

Now Jessica on the other hand is my fish. Her first time in the pool was at about 3 months old. And the only reason it took so long was because we had to wait for the pool to warm up. She never minded the pool. At the ripe old age of 1 she was in the pool in a floatation device and flipped it upside down trying to get a ball. I was out of the pool fully clothed and I freaked out and froze! Luckily daddy heard the commotion and ran to the back yard jumped in and flipped her back over. She laughed. Then later that summer she insisted she could swim. I though 'fine I will let her go and show her she can't' so I let go, held my breath so I would know how long she could stay under. When I pulled her out she smiled at me and said "see momma I can swim" I felt defeated. So of course when Bri took swim lessons so did Jess. The main thing they do with 3 year olds is teach them to float and flip over to breath. THANK GOD! The very next time I took her swimming she just went for it. Again I let her stay under thinking she really needs to learn and I am going let her stay under longer. Then she flipped got air and went back to her "swimming" Oh also when we lived in the apartments we had an incident where she was sitting with grandpa who didn't want to swim while the rest of us played. There were lots of people in the pool so the sound of a splash meant nothing to me. Next thing I know my F-I-L is in the pool fully clothed. Jess thought she could reach the noodle that was floating by and missed. He jumped in to get her. She laughed because grandpa went in the pool with clothes on. Yeah she is trouble.

Still to this day Jess is my fish and dreams of being on a swim team. The bad thing is with me doing daycare I make the money to put her through it but don't have the time to take her. All the high schools here have swim teams so maybe then. Bri still would rather not, but he's no longer afraid and will do some water activities.

Date with my daughter

Jer and I didn't get a date this weekend. It was a very busy weekend. But I did get a date on Friday with my daughter. The church Washington Heights was having Christina speak. I heard Christina speak at our women's retreat just a few weeks ago and the spirit of God radiates through every single word and smile from that lady. I so much want to say she is amazing but the fact of the matter is God is so amazing through her. I adore how she can take the worse of worse situations and praise God. I wanted to share that with my daughter. Jess is turning into a teenager by the second and I want to make sure that she never loses sight of God and that she and I have a connection through it all. She too was smitten by Christina. She couldn't believe the things she has gone through in her life and I had to say "Yet God uses all of it for good. And she praises Him for it" During worship I almost could hear my daughters voice singing praises to God. That was so warming to my heart. Almost as if God was trying to whisper to me "she is a teenager and you will have to moments that you want to strangle her but I still have my sights on her." Thank you Lord for loving her more than I do.
I hope that next next weekend I have a date with Jer to share. :)

It's difficult

I have decided to not go back to weight watchers. At least for now. I know how to lose weight. I know what I am doing wrong. I don't need to pay 9 dollars a week to see what I am doing wrong. So I am on my own. I am hoping I get my head in the game and start to recover from my pity party. I can do it. I have done it twice before, once on my own and once with the help of Weight Watchers. I know the real help, the real success comes from God. So here I go.
I will weigh in once a week, every Friday morning. I will never tell you what I weigh but I will tell you my progress. This week I start at a 0, then in the weeks to come I will state my lose for the week and my over all lose. I will tell you what I struggled with during the week. If you have loving suggestions I will gladly listen to them. If you want to join this journey with me I will gladly exchange ideas with you.
I did not cook dinner last night. My sister was sick earlier this week so we switched days to cook for each other. And I just through together stir fry veggies and chicken. Easy and healthy.
This weeks struggle was to squeeze in exercise. I did actually get one day of exercise in. Not enough I know but I have a new plan. Jeremy found a marathon in two years in Washington DC. I have always wanted to vacation in DC. So we are gonna start training. I really don't think I will run the whole marathon but I can see myself doing the 1/2 marathon. We are going to have a mini gym in our garage and start working out together. I look at my crazy busy schedule and it looks like we can work out evening sessions on Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Then after FPU is over we can add in Monday. Since we only have 1 of everything we are going to alternate days of cardio and strength.
I ask for your prayers for me during this journal. Thank you

Free give away

My friend Lori has another give away on her blog. Its a Kix give away. Go enter to win.
www.familyfishbowl2.blogspot.com

Once Upon a Time....

Once upon a time, long, long ago these were my kids. So young and so Innocent. The world had not yet exposed them to such horror and corruption. They hung out with us they. They smiled when they got there picture taken. Family trips were fun and exciting, not heal dragging and torture filled.

Once upon a time this was my little boy with the most contagious laugh in all the world. Until puberty took it and made it deeper. He wore his hair short and you could see his beautiful face. When he smiled he had deep, wonderful dimples. And he called me his best friend.

Once upon a time this little girl let me play with her hair. She loved french braides and playing dress up. Princess movies was her favorite pass time as was helping me in the kitchen. When I used to fall asleep on the couch in the afternoon this little girl would cover me up with a blanket and I would wake up to a clean house and the sweetest smile "mommy did you sleep good. Look I clean for you so you could sleep."

Sometimes they let their guard down and I get a glimpse of those kids I had once upon a time.

Gouls, Ghosts, & Gobblins

A few weeks ago Jeremy won two free tickets to CornBelly's Corn Maze on Facebook. Since he only won two we decided to go as a date. For those of you who don't know what CornBelly's is its a small carnival type place for families during Halloween time down in Lehi at Thanksgiving Point. I think it's a bit young for my kids but they do have a haunted corn maze. This years haunted corn maze spelled out Fablehaven which is a book series we are reading and love. The book is full of great fantasy creatures and I was excited to see them in the maze. Well much to my disappointment the only character from the book was the witch. I was bummed about that. But I have to say that this haunted maze was way scarier then Nightmare on 13th. I don't know if they went easy on us there because we had Jessi and two of her friends with us whom are all short for their ages, or if the fact I stared at the ground the whole time and I bored them. Either way Nightmare on 13th was pretty tame compared to CornBelly's. I stared at the ground but that seemed to egg them on to try harder to scary me. I happen to startle quite easily. I may not be "scared" but I jump anyway. Just ask my family they think its hilarious. So these "spooks" would come up and say "boo" or make a loud noise and I jumped, even screamed out once (or twice but who's counting) OOOH I think they had too much fun with me. I didn't like it too much. This is the last haunting I am going to. No more. I think I said that a few years ago and ended up going to two this year. But really this is it, no more. I don't like that stuff.
So while at CornBelly's Jer saw the bucking bull. He begged. He pleaded. He promised not to say a word if he through his back out. I gave in and he road it. I will see if he will up load the video I took onto this blog later. I was so nervous that he would get hurt but he seems to be fine. Although his arms hurt from holding on. :)
It was a pretty fun date.

Unfit

So I didn't make it to Weight Watchers last night. Thursday is a new night for me, I used to go on Wednesdays and a friend called to ask if I would go to a movie with her. I remembered W.W. about an hour before she came to pick me up.

But I did try a new recipe that was FANTASTIC!! I am always leery about eating cooked spinach because I think of canned spinach and well YUCK!! But fresh is so yummy. I really think you all should try this:

5.8 oz of couscous prepared (next time I am gonna cook with chicken broth)
1/3 cup chopped walnuts heated for 2 minutes in a sprayed pan then set aside
1.5 lbs cut up chicken breast (i added a little season salt) browned
6 cups of spinach add to chicken along with walnuts once chicken is cooked all the way. (I actually only used about 3 or 4 cups, 6 just seemed too much.) Serve chicken on top of the couscous. Once I topped the couscous with the chicken I thought it just needed some tomatoes for the eye appeal. I was right it was so pretty once I did that. And it tasted very good. My kids wouldn't touch it, but you know what I am passed caring about that.

Also yesterday I decided to walk on my treadmill during nap time. About 28 minutes into my planned 1 hour work out my legs started to itch. At the 34 minute mark my legs we so itchy and burning I just could not bare it any longer so I stopped and went to shower. My legs were bright red and starting to swell and felt very hot to the touch. After showering I went on line to look this up and see if there was a name for it and if I should worry. This is not the first time I have had this happen. I discovered what was going on.... I am unfit!! It was a hard thing to swallow. I guess while exercising my muscles get warmed up and require more blood but the capillaries can't supply the blood fast enough which causes the itching. This really broke my heart. It takes so much work and effort and time to become fit but it only takes minutes to become unfit. My new plan of action is to walk a little slower and maybe cut it in half and just exercise twice a day instead of all at once.

A new begining

So yesterday I expressed my desire to blog again and asked what I should blog about. My friend Holly made some suggestions that got my wheels spinning. So here's the plan:
Monday- possibly blogging about date night. I love to do dates that as close to free as I can get. I thought it would be fun to blog what we do and how it was free.
Wednesday- "remember when" I will try to blog about passed things we did with the kids. You know before blogging was around.
Friday- health/nutrition/exercise stuff. Which works out great since Thursdays are my weight watcher days and the days I experiment a new recipe on my family and my sisters family. I am hoping it will give me an accountability to you guys and I will be too embarrassed to have a down fall so I will stay on track. here's to hoping.

So here we go with the first "remember when"

I thought it would be good to post pictures of my kids dressed up for Halloween. I think this is when Jessica was in Kindergarten and Bri was in 4th, so 2004. Bri had bugged me non stop for a scary costume. I caved! I didn't usually allow scary. But I only bought the mask he had to come up with the rest him self.



Jessica wanted to be a princess. But of course she refused to be Ariel. I couldn't talk her into it for nothing. So we went to the dollar store and got the gross hair spray, that probably causes lung cancer, because she wanted a wig and I didn't have that kind of money. Halloween in Utah is too cold for costumes. I think Jess has sweat pants on under her dress.

On a side note look at my tree it looks so tiny compared to today. Happy Halloween everyone.

Blogging

I have not blogged in forever. A couple of reasons 1. I now watch a baby. Jack's mommy had a baby for me :) Good thing too my baby itch was getting so unnerving. I find that I miss her over the weekends though. And 2. my kids don't do fun things to blog about. In fact if I blogged about my kids on a daily basis those of you who had kids would give them up for adoption the summer before they went off to junior high and those of you who don't have kids would never have kids.

So during the summer I decided I wanted to run a 1/2 marathon next fall. Why oh why do I shut down when I give myself a dead line. Do any of you do that. I gave myself a dead line for my weight loss because I wasn't doing so good and I am still not doing good. Just stressing that I will never be healthy and never fit into a normal standard of weight. It's quite depressing. So now that I have set the goal of running a 1/2 I no longer have the desire to run at all. Someone please tell me that they are this way too! (I have probably lost the 2 or 3 readers since I stopped blogging)

So I am looking for a subject to blog about. I think I really need an outlet, some where I can ramble on and on about a subject. It gets kinda lonely in the babysitting world. I can talk to the kids but they just ask me if I want a crabby patty or stare at me with a blank look. Plus nap time well yeah that is just a bore for me. I have considered putting the boys down at different times so I have someone to play with at all time but in reality I need a break. So if any of you have a suggestion let me know. I just refuse to do politics, not my cup of tea.

Another give away from my friend

For a chance to win a betty crocker give away go to my friends blog at www.familyfishbowl2.blogspot.com it's easy to do. Good luck to you all.

It's breast cancer awarness month

Yep that's right it breast cancer awearness month. I am gearing up to do my annual run/walk with my weight wathcers group. This year it's not a 5K it's 5 MILES!! Woo hoo!! and Jeremy is gonna go with me.
On my very good friend Lori's blog you can enter to win a breast cancer package from yoplait, who have been a Susan G. Komen supporter for years. Go here www.familyfishbowl2.blogspot.com to enter for a chance to win. Good luck

Dawn vs. the cheap brand

So a few months ago I got a bottle of Dawn dish soap for something like 0.35 cents, it was on sale and combined with a coupon. I was so amazed how little of the Dawn that was needed to get the dishes done. I swear a 1/4 of a teaspoon of Dawn does more than 1/4 of a bottle of the cheap brand.
Well today I had a flash back or an absent minded moment or something. I cleaned out the sink and squirted tons of Dawn in the sink and then turned on the water. Didn't take but a second to realize what a mistake I had made. SUDS EVERY WHERE!!!! My dishes we so slippery and it took so much water to rinse them. Oh and if your ring ever gets stuck on your finger do dishes with too much Dawn, mine slipped right off into the garbage disposal and the ring is not too big. Oh and the commercials that shows you a greasy, difficult to scrub pan being easy to clean after 1 minute in the sink soaking actually happened tonight. I guess they just don't feel it necessary to mention how much dawn is in that water :)

Drug testing

A few years ago I decided to start randomly drug testing my teenager. Not because I didn't trust him but because someone brought it to my attention that random drug testing your child is a great way to give them an easy out when peer pressure comes about. It's sorta scary to ask for your child's pee. I get butterflies in my tummy and I fear the "what if." It's also hard sometimes to go to the store and spend the money on a drug test when you have no indication that your child is doing anything wrong. My reasoning in spending the money is 1.) it's cheaper than re-hab. 2.) I love him enough to give him an easy "no" to drugs and 3.) His life is worth more to me than money can buy. So with that I faithfully go to the drug store and buy a drug test. When I say it's random that's no joke. The first two seemed to be back to back and this weekends drug test it has been almost a year. I never meant to go that long but like I said when your child doesn't give you a reason to think he does drugs sometimes it skips my mind.
So I get very nervous right before I give him the pee cup, and the second he sees the cup he just says "Oh OK" and takes the cup to the bathroom with no problem. That sets my mind at easy. But this weekend he goes into the kitchen to drink some water and after the 3rd cup says. I just don't feel like peeing. "Oh my" I think. So we give him some time. A couple of hours later he goes up to pee. Those couple of hours feel like an eternity. But I am so glad to report another clean drug test. I always tell him Thank you for not doing drugs after a test, most of the time he just shrugs or says I told you I don't do that, but this time he looked at me and said Yeah it's hard. It broke my heart that the reality of peer pressure exists for him. But I am so proud of him for saying no and for never having a bad drug test.
Pre-Teen has been warned that her drug testing will start here shortly.

PS the reason I decided to blog the drug testing of my children is because several people have mentioned they had no idea drug tests were so available. You get them in the pharm. section of the store. I have bought all of mine at Wal-Mart (bottom shelf by the nicorette gum) And Walgreen's has Breathalyzers too. Bri has told me one of his friends gets tobacco tested by her parents although I have never heard of or seen one of those.

Entomology lesson

OK Utah you need a lesson on BUGS!!! Every since we have moved here the above bug has been refered to as the potato bug. I have seen a real potato bug in my own back yard in California and the above bug is NOT a potato bug. This is a pill bug or as the kids in CA. like to call them rollie pollies because of there cute little way they curl into a ball when you pick them up. They provide hours of intertainment for the young. They live in your grass not your potato garden. Now here is a picture of a real potato bug "warning not a very cute bug!!"

This my dear sweet Utahns is a potato bug. Not fun, not cute, and not something you want to see your kids playing with. I don't know if they are dangerous or not and they are big (as compaired to most bugs) and scary when you come acrossed one. :)

for a chance to win

Hey check out my friends blog for a chance to win a gift card to Jiffy Lube
http://www.familyfishbowl2.blogspot.com/

1.8 is my number

OYE OYE OYE!!!!! I posted a couple of weeks ago my unhappiness about my weight ups and downs. I told you all I was watching very closely to what I am doing so that I can figure out what I am doing right and what I am doing wrong. Well I was only confusing myself. I have come to one conclusion however. I think what I do this week wont reflect on my Wednesday weigh in next week it will be the week after. I think! And here is how my weigh in have been going.......
up 1.8
down 1.8
up 1.8
down 1.8
and so forth. I guess that means I am maintaining my weight but that's not what my goal is. I think this week I am gonna take a close look at my water intake and my exercise. SIGH!!! Wish me luck!!

Anniversary Trip

Today is our 13 wedding anniversary. To celebrate we went to Arches National Park. We left Friday evening for Moab stayed in the KOA and woke up early on Saturday morning to spend all day in Arches and come home on Sunday morning. Because we only had one day in Arches I felt like we were racing against the clock to see all that we wanted to. Our first big hike was to Landscape Arch. We also did several of the small trails that branched off of the main trail. Jeremy calculated that it was about 6 miles of hiking. It took us 3 hours with our stops and picture opportunities. When we got back to the truck we were both pretty sore. Our feet were killing us. I knew I probably had a blister or two because I get blisters pretty easily. After lunch we went on over to Delicate Arch. Looking at the map that one was a 3 mile round trip hike. I figured it wouldn't be that big of a deal. So we started hiking and as we were climbing up the hill I started to notice a stabbing pain in my hip. I really did not want to turn around and miss this view so I pressed on. The pain was horrid and Jeremy stop me to ask if I just wanted to go back to the truck. We decided to go on. When we had gone so far that we were thinking it's got to be any minute now I noticed the pain all of a sudden wasn't so stabbing anymore. It still hurt but I was able to bend at the hip and bare it. I picked up my pace to get there before the pain came back. When we got there I was so relieved to see there was a great place to sit and rest. We sat there for a bit. When I stood up to leave there was no pain at all. I don't know what I did wrong to cause the pain or what I did right to make it go away, other than pray :). So the walk back down the hill was at a much faster pace and with much more easy. On the way down there was an Indian family (the India kind) hiking down with us. The man was caring his daughter who was too little to walk, I would guess somewhere between 7-8 months old, and he didn't have his shoes tied. He fell and was sliding down the hill head first unable to stop himself because he was holding the baby to protect her. Jer stood in front of him so that he would stop him from going any further and the other man with the group grabbed him to stop them. The baby was crying but not hurt and the man had road rash on his elbows. He tied his shoes to finish up the hike. I couldn't believe some people's choice of foot wear for hiking. I saw a few wearing flip flops, most in tennis shoes. Some in shoes that I don't know how to classify them other than work shoes or old people shoes. I have very sensitive feet so I can't imagine wearing anything but the proper foot wear. I did end up with very nice blisters and bruises on the bottoms of my feet. I am still having a hard time walking on the balls of my feet where the bruises and blisters are. All in all this was a fantastic weekend. there are still some more things I would love to do down in Moab. I wold love to do Canyon Lands by night and the Firey Furnace hike. So maybe next time.

complaining again

So I have decided to keep a very close eye on my weight. So close in fact I weigh myself every day to see if my different choices of food and exercise makes a difference in my weight. Well i have just made myself aware that nothing is making any since at all. I start off the week losing weight and every Monday I not only gain but I gain all or more back. I have been extra good over this last weekend to make sure this doesn't happen this week and it did AND it's a gain more week. I can't seem to lose any weight between Monday and Wednesday. Wednesday's I weigh in. I have been charting this weight loss/gain and I feel so confused. If you have any advice other than starving myself send it my way. If not I fear I may resort to starving!

Neti Pot

Our allergies are horrid right now. The news said this morning to expect it to be a very bad allergy year. Both kids are miserable right now and I know for me, meds. just take the edge off of the misery, I still have a yucky nose and itch eyes, throat and ears it's just not as bad as if I am not on the meds. Last night in the middle of my sleep I woke up sneezing like crazy. I had to rip of my mask in a hurry, because I don't like to sneeze in it, and frantically search for tissue. So I decided to give this Neti Pot thing a try. I figured it can't hurt much to run saline through my nasal cavity. Well I just did the Neti Pot for the first time and I can't decided what to think. I was under the impression that very gross nasty stuff would come out the first time I used it and nothing did. It was just clear water, or saline. And now I think I have more pressure in my ears then I did before I did the treatment. I plan to give this a try for a month or so to see if I improve. I am hoping to be able to talk the kids into this also. I sorta see them freaking out on me. I will let you all know what my opinion of this is as time goes on.

still working at it

Weight has been an issue for me my whole life. Started to "diet" when I was in 3rd grade. But of course what does a 3rd grader know; so my diet was skipping breakfast. Right now I have been in Weight Watchers for 2 1/2 years. I needed to lose roughly 55-60 lbs to hit goal when I started. Most of the people I see who put their whole heart into it can lose 50-60 lbs in about 5 months. Sadly i am still not at goal. But I am still working hard at it. This last month I have been watching what I eat and trying to get in as much exercise as my schedule will let and my weight keeps creeping up. 3 weeks ago I went into my meeting and the scale said I had gained 4.2 lbs. ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDDING ME!!!!!!! I bawled all the way home. I couldn't think of anything I did to deserve that kind of weight gain. I decided not to change anything and see what happened the next week, and I was down 4.6. Huge sigh of relief as well as major confusion. Then last week I go in and I am up 3.6. Again can't really see where I went wrong. I did share a dessert with a friend though. So through all of this I realized that in the beginning things seemed easier than they are now. I have to fight to lose any weight at all and I gain on weeks I think I should have lost. I have decided to go back to the beginning and do all the strict things I did then. Not use my bonus points not allow myself to eat a dessert and to weight myself everyday. Wednesday is my weigh in days and I am looking forward to what their scales my say. Mine tells me it's been a good week. I like to share a quote from a writer friend of mine...

In my internal dialog, I say to myself, "I want to lose a pound. That's all, just a pound." When I lost that pound, I'd start the saying over, "I think I'll try to lose a pound." When I lost that pound, I was two pounds lighter. I have a big goal: lose 65 pounds minimum. But that goal is too big for my confidence, so I focus on one pound at a time. -Al Gansky.

That's what I am doing just one pound at a time. Baby steps. That's what I did in the beginning. First I started to evaluate what I ate, Incorporated healthier choices, left out unhealthy choice. Once I got the eating under control I then started to add movement, go for a walk around the neighborhood, start walking on a track to measure my distance, added in a jog from this light pole to that light pole, jog most of the time. Maybe add in some weights from time to time. Baby steps all the way.

Another thing I did in the beginning was I had friends who were starting weight watchers too. I loved motivating them. Although I don't have that now I have found blogs of local fellow W.W. goers that I am reading. I leave comments from time to time but their stories are inspiring me and my comments make me feel useful.

Matthew

God has answered prayers. It has been a long time waiting to hear those beautiful words from my friend "Matthew is ours". I have spent countless hours praying for over a year. Always wondering "WHY GOD WHY MUST THEY GO THROUGH THIS" I know in all things God has a reason and purpose. I know that sometimes the reason and purpose are not necessarily for those God is using. And this time I think this could be one of those times. Well sort of. Through all of this a whole body of believers has been praying and even when the situation seem bleak we saw God answering prayers. When it seemed the world was gonna fall apart we felt peace. And now that it is all done I see a relationship between 4 parents where 2 are not believers. I see this little boy growing up in a wonderful Christian home who may someday maybe the key instrument in his biological parents accepting what Christ has done on the cross for us.

Allergies vs. Sleep Apnea

It really seems unfair to have both Sleep Apnea and Allergies. It's a horrid thing to deal with. The allergies are making my sinuses have so much pressure and then at night when I lay down and the pressure is at is worse I then have to put a face mask on that hits just about every sinus pressure. If I sleep with out the mask I wake up with a terrible head ache from not breathing well (or at all) But I just can't handle the pressure of the mask. sigh.

Matthew

Please pray for the sweetest little boy named Matthew.

My consumer report

I have been trying to decide if buying a Shark would be a good investment for quite a while now. I have gone on web sites, nothing. Tried to go on consumer report web site but you have to pay. I don't know how they can charge people for that when you can go to library and look through the consumer report for free. I don't know any one who owns one because they are like me and want to read a consumer report before the purchase. Well last week this purple steam mop went on sale and I just couldn't resist. So far I like it. It is a little flimsy filling when you move it from left to right. I really like how it got the area around my stove clean. There was a grease film that collected dirt and grime and no amount of scrubbing made it come clean, until I used the shark. I have noticed the more I use it the more it gets my floor clean. It's not industrial strength by any means but so far so good. Next I want to buy the hand held shark for cleaning other areas.

Strange Dream

The only reason I am blogging this is cuz I want to find out where this came from. Usually my dreams have a reason like I watched a CSI show or discovery channel or a conversation or something like that. So here goes my bizzar dream I had last nigh...
Jer's parents were with us and we wanted to go out. There was much talk about a carnival type deal going on down at the pier so we thought we'd check it out. People were every where and we went in. At first it was just a normal walk on a pier and then it started to look different. The buildings were a gold and orange color and they kinda looked like the castle on Aladdin. There were many of these buildings crowding both sides of the street. At the end of this street it was a pier that looked out to the ocean and you could see a floating island that had yet another one of these building but it was shorter and slightly different. The water was a strange black tar and I turned around and there were all these people working hard labor kind of work. Hauling water in jugs on their head and making the bricks they used to build the buildings all by hand. The people were all black. Now I am not talking African American here. They were very very black and they almost looked fake like statues that move. They were wearing hardly any clothing and it was all yellow and orange. Then I noticed Bri was missing. We decided to get everyone to one central location before I headed out looking for Bri so I could find my way back to them. There was a food court that had all the tourist type of people there eating. Jer's folks got a table and I went out to find Bri. I called his cell and he was disoriented and couldn't tell me where he was and he had eaten some of the food there. I got Jer to help me look for him and we just had no luck. I called his cell again and told him to meet us at the truck. Jer and i headed out to the truck but no matter how much we walked we stayed the same distance from the parking lot. Then I noticed that lots of people were entering but no one was leaving. That was suspicious to me. Finally we caught up with Bri and he seemed to be coming out of a trans and started to make some sense when he talked. Immediately one of the black people came up and tried to give him some more food. It smelled so good but I made him refuse. The person went a little crazy not knowing what to do because he wouldn't eat the food. We walked away to meet up with the others and they were eating the food. They were very disoriented and couldn't think. Jess was missing. Then I woke up.

Very weird dream. I can't stop thinking about it. Very vivid too. And another thing that is weird is I woke up several time during this dream and every time I went back to sleep I pick up right where I left off. Which never happens.

An emotional roller coaster!!

Thursday was parent teacher conference. The teachers in the junior high seemed to always hate their jobs and hate the kids. They were very rude to me and disrespectful to say the least. So I have become defensive. I had been working myself up all day to walk into Brian's High School and defend him and tell a few teachers just what I though of their comments. Well I was pleasantly surprised at the comments. Every teacher there truly like my son. One teacher even told me out of all the students she has ever taught she can only say she loves about 20 of them and Brian is one she loves. Comments I heard over and over again were...
Brian is...
very respectful
a delight to have in class
incredible smart
funny
sweet
genuinely nice
My heart swelled so much I just though it would burst in my chest right there. I was having to walk away from teachers to cry and compose myself before going onto the next teacher and then the phone call came in. Brian was at a friends house and supposed to meet me at the school. He forgot to leave on time and was running very late. He calls and I hear angry voices yelling into the phone. "MOM I WAS HIT BY A CAR. I AM SO MAD. THE IDIOT HIT ME!! I ALMOST FOUGHT HIM!!" I was freaking out big time and couldn't think. I was already a basket case and just couldn't focus so I called Jer and told him. When he called back he says things are ok sounds like Bri wasn't really hurt and he would be at school soon. When he showed up he was fine. The guy did run over his foot and hit him with the side mirror. He was more angry than anything. He was only sore for a couple of hours and now he thinks he is so tough he can take on a car and win!!! Great that's all I need is for my teenage son who thinks he's too tough to die as it is to believe he can take on a car!!

The Weekend

Most days as a mother of a teenager you sit back and your head spins as you try to figure out what just caused the outburst, or wander what happened to that wonderful, loving child you once had.
Not this weekend.
I had the BEST weekend. Started out running errands with my wonderful husband then came home to get my daughter who helped me clean the church nursery (along with two wonderful friends Lori and Joanna and my sons best friend Jessica) Then we joined GAP at our church and had tons of fun. Jessi and I took Jessica out to coffee before dropping her off at home and had a wonderful conversation with her. Came home to my boys and we all four went out to dinner at the Melting Pot. It was a special treat I had been planning in my head for months. We had a blast. Normally Brian won't even go out to dinner with us, he just requests our left overs. Brian and I had a sword fight with our forks, we laughed so hard our tummies hurt. He and Jessi are both studying the same subject in World Civilizations and they shared with us all that they had learned. It did get a bit silent when the chocolate fondue was set at our table about the only thing you heard was, mmmmmmmmmmmmm. Then UHHHHHHHHHHHHH, because the full tummies kicked in.
It even continued into the next day, the smiles, talking, and just being nice. I didn't want this weekend to end!
We stopped at the store so that two kids we had given a ride to youth group could run in and get their mom some stuff and we were all talking. So many people have been coming up to me lately to tell me how nice I am, I wasn't fishing for a compliment but I was trying to tell my family that I am not "nice" I just allow God to use me. All I got out was I'm not nice and both kids and husband piped in saying "Yes you are!" I don't know why but hearing Brian say I was nice was a perfect ending to a perfect weekend. I hear so much of how unfair I am and how mean I am and judgemental I am. So it meant so much to hear him say that.
OH I so hope we can repeat this weekend every day

Public Apology

Last weekend on Saturday evening at 8:10pm my phone rang. It, of course, was a telemarketer. I only remember her name, Sophia. I don't remember what company she was calling about (or for). I felt a little bold and so I proceeded to tell her that it was rude to call on a Saturday evening and I hung up. Not even on full minute later the phone rings, AGAIN. And yes it was Sophia, AGAIN. I then raised my voice and got angry with her. I said some mean things and she never let up, she continued to tell me her little sells gimmick. Then I said take me off your calling list and the woman told me NO!!! She tried to tell me that my number was public information and she could call anytime she wanted. So I informed her that it is federal law to take me off if I asked and she started over again with her sells gimmick. SHEESH! I ended up just hanging up the phone.
I do apologies for losing my temper it was uncalled for. I really should have taken a different approach to this whole situation. I do however strongly believe she was in the wrong from the very first phone call. But I don't need to act like a fool.
For now on I am going to calmly ask for the persons name and company and possibly a phone number and then ask to be taken off of the list this way if I have problems I will then be calling in a formal complaint.

better days

If today could just be started over that would be great!! Falls, stuck heads, screams, cries, melt downs. I think we should have spent the day in a padded room listening to calm music. Lets see if I can stay away from my normal stressful day retreat, foods with high sugar!! So far so good.

Frusterated

I wanna go to the biggest loser ranch in st. george utah. I can't do this on my own. It's too hard. What am I supposed to do when I get cravings for sugary sweets!!!! So I am gonna run away to St. George. It cost $1000 a week. Who wants to donate to my cause.

underwear

T: Cwissy do you have buz light year on your underwear?
Me: Um.... no
T: Cwissy who's on your underwear?
Me: (pause: trying to decide if it was appropriate to describe my underwear to him) Um... Nothing
T: Oh, you just have girl underwear.

attempt #3

ok so I am technologically challenged. Her blog is named Living in a Fish Bowl and she is on my list of blogs that I follow.

attempt #2

Ok so that didn't work at least I don't see the link. Let me try this again in a different way.

Prayers

I am attempting to add a link to a friends blog. She is going through an adoption and could us all the prayers she can get. You can follow her incredible story on her blog. It's amazing and scary. But I know that our God is loving and caring beyond all of our understanding and I know that no matter what the out come is God will be glorified though it all.

Library

Today Jer needed me to drop something off at the post office and it happens to be pretty close to a library. So I thought if all goes well I would sneak on over for a book or two. I didn't tell the boys where we were going. When we got there Tyson says "Where are we, what are we doing here" I told him we were are the library and he chimes in with "OH YEAH the car's fixed YAY YAY!" and just for the record my car is still running ;-)

What has this world come to.

Now I just think that peoples manners are going down hill. It is driving me crazy. The other day Jessica needed a book for school so we went to the library. She saw a man approaching the library behind us so she stopped to hold the door open for him. She does this a lot, both my kids do this actually. But it bugs me to no end when a healthy man who is not old and/or needs special assistance excepts my daughters open door. It is just good, polite manners for the man to stop and hold the door open for her and say thank you but lady's first. So this particular man excepts her open door and says thank you and goes to the next door and say "Well I guess it's my turn" (to open the door for her) So for a split second I forgave him until he decided his idea to open the door for my daughter was to throw open the door hard enough so he could go through first and if Jessica hurried up she could make it in after him. It warms my heart that today at church Brian jumps out of the car to open my door and then goes to the door of my dear friend Arthea and opens her car door for her too, and still yet walks up to the church to wait for us and holds open the door for us all there. Now Brian does this every Sunday morning (not opening Arthea's door it was just luck that she arrived the same time as us today) and when he holds open the door at church he goes above and beyond at times by waiting for ladies he has seen just arrive to hold open the door for them or even gentlemen who have there arms full. I so wish that moms took the time to teach there sons that this is just how it is done and that dads would do this in front of there sons as an example.